you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
