I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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