Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dignity is for republicans.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
