yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
