dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize