I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
