Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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