God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
