That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Randomize