So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
