Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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