Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
