they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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