Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
