i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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