I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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