So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
