don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize