We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize