Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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