Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
