um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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