My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
