I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
