Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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