I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
