btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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