Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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