smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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