he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
