I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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