I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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