Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
