why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
