It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
