I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
