He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
