You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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