One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
