Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
