wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
