I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
