Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
