I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
