I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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