I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
