haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
