So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
