I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
