I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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