She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
