So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
