He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
that is very illegal...i love you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
