Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
