And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
A+ Viking dick
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
