AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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