Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
