it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
