I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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