You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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