And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
