it hurts more in the daytime
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
