The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
